Episode Description

Why this podcast and why am I the one doing it?
When a marriage or a long-term relationship ends, we don’t always clear the muck before we jump into the next… and that can be hard on our new relationship, causing it to be even more likely to fail.
In this welcome episode, I share what makes me well-suited to talk about subsequent marriages and how to make them work, including a quick overview of my relationship history.

Transcript

[00:00:00]

Hey everybody. I am so excited to be here and to be recording this podcast for you. Well, you heard it in the intro. My name is Sheila Morgan. I am a relationship mindset coach. And I’m a two time divorcee. I am now married to my third husband, the fabulous Joe Morgan. And this podcast is for people who are in their second, third, or even beyond, marriage.

And they’re like, man, am I ever going to get this to work? Am I ever going to figure this marriage stuff out? Like, what am I doing wrong? What’s like, you’re seeing the same patterns. You’re seeing the problems. You’re seeing things like. Oh, I thought I, I thought I picked the right person this time. I thought I figured this stuff out and you’re really struggling with “now what?” because the sad statistics are that first [00:01:00] marriages, half of them end in divorce.

And it’s even worse for second marriages. Over 60% of second marriages end in divorce, and it’s even worse for third. It’s over 70%. So I’ve created this podcast because I’ve learned a few things in my time being married a few times and in my training and in my experience of coaching people on their relationships, I’ve discovered some things that actually work. And you can have fewer arguments, you can have better connection and more understanding of each other, using some of these ideas and tools. And that’s what this podcast is for. I want to spare you some of the heartbreak and heartache [00:02:00] that I experienced and. You don’t give you a place to go when you’re not sure what else to do.

Right. I know like hiring a coach is expensive. Going to a therapist is not always super helpful. I know in my marriage before we went to therapy and man, it was really hard to be honest in there visually hard to speak what was truly on my mind. And there was a lot that got in the way of really having a truly connected, authentic relationship.

And how this podcast is going to work is part of the time it’s going to be me talking to you about different tools and strategies, things that I’ve learned, things that I come across, maybe share with you. Some client stories, things that they figured out and that are working for them. I’m also going to be [00:03:00] bringing on folks who are in their second.

Possibly third beyond marriage is. And have them share what’s worked out for them. Right. And so I also know some folks that are just great with helping folks with their relationships, right? Like they are counselors or even therapists and we’ll bring them in as well to share some of their expertise to the whole idea of this podcast is that you get something that helps you out.

That you can figure something out that works for, for you and your partner. I just, I’m just trying to put more love out there in the world and take away some of the hurt for people because some of us have gone through some shit basically. Right. And we want to. We want to have a relationship that that [00:04:00] fills us up, right.

That helps us feel like, okay, this is how life is meant to be. It’s meant to be shared with somebody and it’s meant to be experienced in a way that’s exciting and fun.

Well, we’re going to have, you know, negative feelings half the time. We’re going to have positive feelings half the time too, and we want to be present and enjoy those when they come up and not be always worrying about when’s the next trouble going to show up. When’s the next problem going to get here? 

Okay. So a little bit about me and why am I qualified to put this podcast out into the world? Well, when I was in high school, I got pregnant by my boyfriend who was emotionally abusive. [00:05:00] And I knew in my family that when you get pregnant, you had to get married. I was raised in a Christian home. We were a Pentecostal evangelical Christian family.

And that was just what you did. But I was terrified because this man would punch walls. He. Would get angry and he once punched the dashboard of my car and broke it. And I knew I couldn’t be with somebody that was like that because it, I felt that he was too dangerous. And so I reached out to a man that was He was my boyfriend years before.

And I just always thought of him as the man I would eventually marry. And in fact, we had actually had this pact that if we didn’t get married, by the time we were 25, we were going to marry each other. [00:06:00] It was like, no way, were we going to be alone. We were going to have each other to fall back on. And when I reached out to him, it wasn’t with the intent of marrying him.

It was just the intent of “I need a friend. I need a friend right now. I need to talk to somebody.” And he proposed to me. He said, well, let’s get married. I, I love you. I want to help take care of your, your child and. Long story short, we were done within a few months and it was really dramatic and ugly. It was very ugly, but I had my beautiful baby girl and I was alone after that.

We separated. One day a friend of mine introduced me to a man who had a little boy the same age as my little girl. And I thought, okay, maybe this could work. You know, I, I felt like this man could [00:07:00] probably take care of me and this might be the thing. So. Long story short with this one too. And trust me guys, I will get into more details on this, but I didn’t want to bore you with all of it upfront, but basically we were married within, I don’t know, a year and a half, and we had our “perfect little family”.

We had his and hers. And the cool thing about our marriage was that the other parent was not in the picture. It was basically the four of us. And then one day we had another one. And so then it was the five of us. We were married for 14 years and I don’t want to turn this podcast into a complaint about my previous marriage kind of a thing, but in subsequent episodes, I’m [00:08:00] definitely going to share some things that I went through and things that I’ve learned from that. And I want to be really clear that now I look back and I see that my previous husband was doing the very best that he could. And he loved me. He loved our kids and he was a good man.

So, I’m going to try to be straight about things and try not to cry too much, but share because it’s important. It’s real life, right. It’s things that we went through and the thing is, it’s my kid’s dad, you know, I don’t want to trash talk him. Odds are my kids aren’t going to listen to this because they might be worried I will but even if I don’t, it could upset them to hear some of these things. I want to be upfront. I want this to be helpful to you, but not [00:09:00] share a bunch of traumatic shit that’s not helpful. 

Okay. So it was many years after we got divorced before I met my current husband, Joe Morgan is like, I don’t want to put him on a pedestal, but I mean, if I put him on a pedestal we’re just going to have to knock him off because he’s a man, I’m a woman like there’s shit happens, right. Stuff comes up. That’s the whole point of this too, is we started having our own issues that we had to figure out and that we had to work through.

So I’m going to be sharing that stuff with you as well. I’m going to try to be as real as I can y’all and hopeful and try not to paint anybody in a horrible light. Even myself, right? I could sit here and complain about myself, but that’s not going to help people. I don’t want to be Pollyanna, but I don’t want to be super down and depressing [00:10:00] either.

I’m a life coach. Right? My job is to help people take a look at their lives and see how they can level it up. What’s working, what’s not working. Let’s, let’s do more of what works. Let’s get the results that we want. Let’s reach our goals. Let’s have fabulous relationships. I’m all about that and that’s part of what this podcast is all about.

Okay. So there’s, there’s going to be some stories. There’s going to be some things to share some lessons, some tools, all of that stuff. And I’m super excited to bring all of that to you. Okay. I’m so, so grateful that you’re here. I really appreciate you. I hope that this is helpful to you and I’m looking forward to hearing what you’re getting from this.

All right. Y’all have an awesome day. I love you. Bye.